Grandpa Steve

For four wonderful days in November, my dad came to visit his favorite (and only) grandchildren. All he wanted for his birthday was a plane ticket to Michigan, so that's what my mom gave him. I think this picture pretty much sums up how I feel when my dad is around: 

Comfortable. Tender. Safe.

And SILLY! That one doesn't really fit with the picture, but we do have a LOT of fun together. Throw Matt and the boys in the mix, and it's a party!

My dad and I have always been really close. We have similar interests and similar temperaments. While his loud advice from the sidelines of my middle school basketball games has led me into fits of defensive rage, as has his advice about which boys I should/should not have dated in high school, his loving words of encouragement and direction have led me to some really great places in life. I wouldn't be half of who I am without him.

I don't have a recent picture of the two of us because one of us is always behind the camera, so here is a really old one.

As soon as my dad arrived at our house from the airport, he pulled out his bag of treats. My mom sent him with a big tupperware full of carefully packed homemade sugar cookies (complete with bubble wrap), cut in the shapes of letters. It came with a note telling Josh he must spell the names of everyone in our family before he could eat any. The idea of so much sugar at his fingertips was so flustering that he needed a lot of help, but we got the job done!

This little boy hardly touched the floor all weekend.

We did nothing glamorous, but basically showed my dad our daily routine and our wonderful, simple town. We took him to Jack's Fruit and Meat Market, one of our favorite produce stores, where he stocked up on jerky and homemade jam.

We definitely ate well during his visit.

Stuffed artichokes, salt and vinegar potatoes, and steak. (Matt had to break in his new grill!)

My dad is always honest when it comes to food. If he doesn't like something or he would change it in some way, he lets me know. But that makes his compliments worth so much more because I know he's really sincere. His comment on this homemade chicken noodle soup: "That's the best soup I've ever had in my life!"

Note to self:  remember this when he's old and feeble and living in my basement.

Of course we had to show him Jet's Pizza. We are regulars there. I've had their phone number memorized for months.

Also lots of pie. And no less than three packages of Andes mint cookies. We are heifers when we're together.

We made sure to take lots of walks to burn off those calories. My dad fell in love with the neighborhood and all the friendly people in Midland. He couldn't help but notice the extreme difference between here and California. People are just different. Something about midwestern folk and lifestyle is so charming!

On Monday, he came with me to drive Josh and his friend to preschool. He had to get out and take a quick picture of this beautiful tree next to the school/church. I wish there were more beautiful leaves left for him to enjoy, but at least he got a tiny taste of the wonderland that is Midland in the fall!

During preschool we ran a bunch of errands together. Found this cute baby for sale at Kohl's.

That night we took Josh bowling for the first time, and HOLY COW he loved it! Best idea ever. He wants to go every night now. He had so much fun.

I think this blurry pictures captures Jude's confusion and tiredness that night pretty well.

Jude crawled wherever he wanted, which is usually the dirtiest place he can find. I'm just glad no one dropped a ball on or tripped over him.

One thing I love about my dad is that he's always taking pictures, usually to send home to make everyone jealous of his time with the boys. Because of this, we actually end up with pictures of the whole family sometimes! This one's not very clear or smiley, but I'll take what I can get.

Another thing I love about him:  he's a serious handy man. Matt took him to "the tool store" (as Josh calls it) and they got supplies for a bunch of little projects around the house. He was so extremely helpful. He got so excited about ideas for our new house, he's already trying to plan a trip in late spring to help us with the yard and build a workbench in the garage.

Besides all this fun stuff, we spent a lot of time just hanging out at home playing and talking. My dad is really attentive and fun with the boys, but he also is really good about spending time with ME. He makes me feel like he doesn't only want to visit to see the boys, but that his time with me and Matt is just as important. That's probably why I miss him so much when he leaves.

By the time we got home from taking Grandpa to the airport, both boys were completely zonked. Four days of nonstop fun and attention wore them out!

We'll be sure to let them rest up before Christmas break.

Child Proof

Answer: Childproof

Question: What is something my house is not?

Unmounted frames and blinds in random piles

Crumbs and sticky stuff all over the floors

Fireplace without a protective gate

Staircase to basement without protective gate

Cable box and PS3 on low shelf

Open basket of DVDs on low shelf

Three toilets to keep behind closed doors

Laptop cords always on the floor

About a zillion unplugged outlets

Cupboards without child locks

Sharp corners in every room

In the two weeks that he's been a full crawler, Jude has pointed out almost all of these safety hazards by discovering them when I'm not watching.

He is a full crawler now!  For a few weeks it was pretty hilarious because he'd get up on all fours (knees or toes) and nose dive into the floor to gain a few inches at a time. He's pretty fast now. His favorite place to crawl is right up to the mirror and give his reflection a nice open-mouth kiss. Then he rams his head into the mirror over and over, listening to the banging. What's not fun about that? I can't blame him though. I want to kiss that little face all the time, too.

His increasing strength and mobility have definitely changed our routine around here. He's been flipping out of his Bumbo, so we don't use it much anymore. I use it in the shower, but a few weeks ago I turned my head for a second and he was suddenly flat on his back on the shower floor. Just looking up all proud of himself! Then yesterday he gave himself a little bloody nose doing the same thing. I think its new home will be The Pile in the basement.

I guess this post is turning into a Snowbaby update. If you want to see what Jude has been like recently, just look at this post from when Josh was little. They are basically the same baby with the same interests: remotes, laptops, paper, water in Mommy's glass, dropping everything onto the floor from his highchair, etc etc.

He LOVES food! Whenever he sees anyone else eating, his eyes get all big and he starts chewing his tongue and drooling while his arms and legs flap like crazy. I have to fight myself not to give him things he's not ready for yet.

He is growing out of clothes so fast! Good thing Josh left a TON of hand-me-downs in good shape for his brother.

His laugh is infectious. So deep and delirious, for a baby.

And he still thinks his brother is the funniest person in the world.

And now that you're caught up with Jude and my childproofing needs, here are some other kinds of child proof, brought to you by Joshua....

PROOF that my son listens to what I say: 

(and then throws my words back in my face at every opportunity)

Me: "Josh, come help me do the dishes."

Josh: "Umm, that's a nice idea, but I need to stay here and do this for a little while."

Me trying to follow the endless instructions to build a Lego garbage truck for him: "Rrrr! This is so frustrating!!!"

Josh sympathetically: "No, it's not frustrating because I'm helping you."

Running around the kitchen island.

Me: "Wow you're so fast at running in circles!"

Josh: "Actually I'm running in rectangles"

Me: "We have to turn off the lights after we use the bathroom so we don't waste light, just like we don't waste water..."

Josh: "Ooooorrrrr...cereal!"

"Alsoly" = a mix of also and actually. He uses it all the time when he's trying to contribute to important conversations.

"Jude you are such adorable!" I think this is a combination of "You are such a dork" and "You are so adorable" -- two phrases we use a lot around here.

We pass Burger King on the way home quite a bit. Josh asks to go play in their playplace every time, and every time I tell him we only do that on rainy days when we can't play outside. Now guess what he says to me whenever it rains... "When it's cold and raining that means we get to go to Kings Burgers!!!"

PROOF that Josh really pays attention to my music in the car: 

(My sister made a CD of songs Josh likes, but they are secretly my favorites too)

Josh's version of Justin Bieber: "Shiny is a eeny meeny miney mo luvah!" He also likes to point out what he thinks are the words chicken and spaghetti in Lady Gaga's "Poker Face".

There's a Britney Spears song that says "I can't take it, take it, take no more...." In the middle of singing, Josh explains to me, "We don't take our friend's toys! It's not good to take things." Yes, Josh, I'm sure that's exactly what Britney meant.

He randomly sings Rebecca Black's "Friday" all the time. Like in the quiet Nexus office at the Canadian border, where no one was cool enough to recognize the song, but I sat there laughing to myself like the proud mother that I am. He likes to change the words to different weekdays, too.

PROOF that my son is the cutest three-year-old ever:

Me: "I can't believe it's almost Christmastime!"

Josh, gasping: "When it's Christmas time, that's when I get to sit on Uncle Mike's lap and fly his helicopter at Sara Grandma's house!"

"Jude is my favorite little baby that I ever wanted!"

The week after General Conference, he asks "Mommy, can we color some pictures on the little table and play the candy game while we listen to General Conference on the computer?" I love when he wants to do good things!

Sees an old scratched black minivan in the library parking lot, and as it almost hits him he says "Wow, that's an aaaaawesome car!" He must get his taste from his dad.

Lately he's been dipping marshmallows and frozen peas in his ramen noodles "to make it taste so yummy". Again, he must get his taste from his dad.

I love these two little nerds...

...even more than they love getting the mail!

SibLove

I've had a bit of an epiphany lately. It's something simple and ordinarily taken for granted, so I'm sure no one else will think it's a big deal. But it's a place, a state of mind, that has taken a long time for me to reach.  Ready for it?

My siblings are my friends.

There are five kids in my family: Melissa 26, Me 24, Stephanie 21, Steven 17, Julia 13. I've had very different relationships with each one of them. (Aaaand...let the rambling and flashbacks begin!)

Melissa and I are twenty months apart, and were very competitive growing up. Everything had to be fair, but nothing was fair. We rarely had any nice, cooperative, loving memories together. It was a precious moment for me if we were forced to hug for one reason or another, like a photo op or a funeral. Mainly we just didn't get along. I stole her clothes. She told on me for liking boys. I played basketball and she cheered. We had completely opposite interests and could not share friends. Lots of friction.

But ever since we both moved out and had more of our own space, we've been closer than ever. I loved when she would come over just to watch dumb TV shows with me at BYU. I love how she checks in on everyone and gives cheesy little words of encouragement when we need them. In that way, she is such the Big Sister. She cares about us and watches over her little siblings like a mother hen.

Stephanie was the little sister I liked to play with when we were young. We'd waltz around the playroom acting out the dance scene from The King and I. I'd be the cool big sister to her friends and occasionally dress up and be silly with them or take them TPing. But Steph was also the one I had to share a room with, and that caused some major arguments. She stole my clothes and I was a hormonal teenager who was mean to her sometimes. It didn't help that I had a boyfriend tell me that Stephanie would definitely be the hottest Madsen.

But now, she is the one I Skype with at least once a week. She is the one who is always planning the next visit. I'm sure it has more to do with her nephews than with me, but I like to pretend that the love she shows for my boys is really love directed at me. And if I'm wrong, don't tell me!

Steven was my boy. My baby brother. My dad has always called me his "first son" because I was a major tomboy compared to my sisters, and Steven was the second. He would take Steven and me on special quadding trips or to the tool store. We were "the boys", and we bonded over that because we didn't fit in well with "the girls" of the family.

He was only ten when I moved out. I've been sad to miss most of his growing up years, even though those years have been kind of difficult and moody, but that hasn't made me feel less connected to him. There have been times when it was hard to get two words out of him, but he is still my baby. I even call my own sons Steven sometimes on accident. These days he always volunteers to drive the long two hours to pick me up from the airport when I go home to visit, just so we can have time to talk. We have a brother bond.

Julia is a little crazy thing. She was so little when I left the house, just six years old. She will always be a sweet baby to me, even though she's a tall, sassy, pubescent now. I can't pass by her without reaching out to squish one set of cheeks. We don't have super deep talks -- our relationship is more about teasing and being silly together. My parents call her a "mini Mimi" but she's way better at everything in life than I'll ever be. She is the wonder child. So much that my mom just got a personalized license plate that says JULZMOM. Can you believe it? Four other kids, but I wonder who is the favorite....

Anyway, now that I've written a reflective essay on my own sibling relationships, you are free to analyze the psychology of it all and send me your theories. I love a good psych discussion.

But really, here's why I've been thinking about all this lately. Friday was my dad's 50th birthday. I spent weeks putting together a surprise video for him with messages from a bunch of his friends and family, pictures of him growing up, and lots of family pictures that represented things he has taught his children in life. Like how to throw a perfect spiral with a football, or how to find and eat the most delicious burgers. Here is the video if you're interested. It's long.

As I was getting all this together, I had a lot of help. Melissa took a bunch of video for me out in Utah and reminded relatives to send in clips. Steph and Steven found and scanned hundreds of photos that I didn't have access to out here. Julia got all her friends involved in the video. Steph planned the cutest surprise party ever, and even got some faraway friends to travel in for it. Everyone worked together on something awesome for our dad, even from three different parts of the country.

Then at the party, Steph made sure I was there on Skype when my dad came through the door to be surprised. She was proud to show me every part of the party, every decoration, every refreshment, every guest. And then, once the party was started and I was still sitting there on Skype pretending to be a part of it all, I found myself face to face with my three younger siblings. Each one of them sat with me one on one for a while. They said they'd rather talk to ME than the other party guests.

Right now you might be thinking, "So...what's your point? That's what family does. No big deal."

Yes big deal to me! I like to know that I'm missed. And loved. And worth my family's time even when my kids are in bed and not in front of the screen to entertain everyone.

That night was a time I realized that my siblings are more than just family -- they are my friends too. They want to talk to me sometimes for fun, not just when they need something. They want to be part of my life. They care about what I'm doing. They laugh at my jokes. They want my opinion and approval on things they do. They want to spend time with me, and they are the ones I want to hang out with when I need a fun break.

Just like FRIENDS. 

It's too bad it took me seven years away from home and over 2000 miles of distance to realize how much I enjoy their company. I love them like a fat kid loves cake.

I can never post Halloween pictures on time...

I have very little energy to make a cutesie creative post right now, but I need to do something productive.  So I'll at least post the few pictures I got from Halloween this year.

Saturday night, we went to our church for the "trunk or treat". This is where everyone parks in the church lot, decorates their car trunk, and hands out candy to the kids. It's always a ton of fun and a good little warm-up for real neighborhood trick-or-treating a few days later. The ward also had a chili dinner/cook off with cider and donuts. Yummmm.

Josh wanted to dress up as a Toy Story army guy, but since he wouldn't let me touch his face with green make up, he was just a regular army guy. Matt and I had a little too much fun trying to convince him to use the face paint, so we threw some camoflauge costumes together at the last minute to match. Jude already had a tiger costume and we just pretended like we were hunting him. Such a plump little one could feed a hungry family for sure!

When real Halloween came around, I tried so hard to prepare Josh for trick or treating and get him excited to go out with his dad. They had planned to meet up with friends at 6:00 and hit the neighborhood, but around 4:30 I was going nuts with the boys and needed to get them out of the house. We got in the car and drove to the library, but by the time we arrived Josh had fallen asleep in his car seat. I thought a nap would do him good and help to be a happier trick or treater, so I drove right back home and let him sleep in the car until a quarter to six.

Bad idea. Horrible idea. Worst idea ever.

It took him a whole entire hour of crying and fighting and delirious conversations to get him to completely wake up and put his costume on. He was just really out of it and confused after that late nap. And he didn't have time for a full dinner either, so here he is in his stroller, face still red and puffy from tantrums, holding the milk and two pieces of toast I sent him with in lieu of dinner. Ready for Daddy to sprint to his friend's house to meet up with them extremely late. Are we bad parents for forcing sugar and holidays on our child?

He ended up having a great time, despite the cold night. Jude slept in the stroller for about an hour and was wide awake when they got home, so I got to spend the next couple days trying to get him back on a normal sleep schedule. Lucky me.

I think Josh really enjoyed learning about Halloween. He liked all the ghosts, zombies, vampires, witches and pumpkins in the books and TV shows all month. They didn't scare him at all, to my surprise. 

Today he was looking at some football pictures with Matt and he kept asking, "Where are the vampires?" We couldn't figure out what he meant so we asked what vampires look like. "They have little stripeys on their shirts." Ooohhh, he meant UMPires! It was really cute. Still had Halloween on his brain and got the two confused.

We all know Halloween isn't over until the post-holiday sales are fully taken advantage of. A couple nights ago Matt and I were on a date with some friends and bought a couple of wigs for really cheap.  Matt put this one on last night and scared Josh so badly! He absolutely hated it!

Sorry Matt -- guess your dream of matching hair styles with your wife just isn't the best thing for our family after all.

Hope you all had a lovely holiday too!