Yesterday was an unusual day. Due to reasons other than getting too little sleep, fighting an annoying cold, and not having the chance to shower, (all of which I've gotten used to lately), the morning was not the most pleasant.
Josh has been whiny. Sometimes it feels like he's starting into the Terrible Twos early. Especially when I find him on the kitchen counter, getting past the child proof top to my vitamin container, and popping them like giant tic-tacs. (Okay, he only got hold of one before I caught him, but it sounded funnier to say it that way.) Today we had an hour-and-a-half battle over who was more stubborn, because apparently he would rather starve to death than say "please" for his food and drink. Guess who won that one? Not me.
Also, yesterday was Tuesday. Tuesdays are Matt's busy days. From 8:45 a.m. to at least 9:00 p.m., he goes straight from study groups to class to Mutual. He comes home around dinner time for about ten minutes before he leaves to pick up boys for Young Mens, which usually means dropping off his bags, making a bunch of last minute phone calls to coordinate rides, and grabbing dinner to eat on the way to the car. This is weird for our family, since Matt is such a home-body. He does all his studying right here on the couch, so we're used to having him around quite a bit. Needless to say, Tuesday is not my favorite day of the week this quarter.
To pass the time and keep Josh entertained, I thought we might try to visit a museum or go shopping. Anything to break up the day and get us both out of the apartment to interact with other human beings. I threw a roast in the crock pot so we wouldn't need to come home early to start dinner, and picked up my phone to invite my friends out to the museum. But as I was about to hit "send", I suddenly felt like the museum might not be such a good idea today. For no particular reason. So instead, I got ready to walk over to the produce store with Josh.
As I was getting my grocery list together, a friend called. She was at a doctor appointment and asked if her husband could borrow my car to pick up their kids from a party, since she had driven their car to her appointment and wouldn't be back in time. I thought: I'm glad I didn't take the car to the museum. So I dropped off the car key on my way downstairs.
But instead of going right to the store, we decided to stop at the Tot Lot (a big playroom in our building) because, like I said, Josh has been a little demanding. Getting some wiggles out before our grocery run seemed like a good idea. A few minutes after I sat down, another friend called. Her baby girl was really sick and had to go to the emergency room (a long, inconvenient process around here), so she needed someone to watch her little boy for a few hours. I was actually happy to help because it meant Josh would have a nice little playmate for the day, and we were already at the Tot Lot anyway so it worked out perfectly. Good thing I didn't already leave for the grocery store.
While we were in the Tot Lot, a woman I'd never seen poked her head in and asked for some help. I was the only fluent English speaker in the room, so she came to me. She had locked herself out of her apartment, didn't have a cell phone, and was afraid to leave the building because she had no keys to get back in. It seemed like she didn't know anyone she could ask for help (or leave a spare key with, anyway) and she didn't remember where the building manager lived so she could ask him to unlock her door. I happened to have his cell phone number on me and let her use my phone. Good thing I was here and had that number. No big deal, for me. But apparently it meant a lot to her because she came back down after a while and brought some weird rice snacks from Japan to thank me. Kinda funny lady, but nice.
A little later, the first friend texted me to invite us over to play. Josh was asleep so I declined, but asked if they wanted to have dinner with us since I basically had four pounds of pot roast all to myself. (Matt wasn't even able to come home to grab dinner because the Mutual time changed.) We ended up bringing the crock pot up to their place after Josh went to bed and Matt got home, so it was just the adults for once. We also got to play a little Settlers of Catan before bedtime. As it turns out, before dinner my mind was in desperate need of a distraction, and this little late-night get-together was the perfect thing to keep me from throwing myself a pity party.
Why am I writing about all this? It's nothing unusual -- people help people all the time. I'm not feeling exceptionally magnanimous for my good deeds. It's just that lately I've felt kind of like a leech. Like I'm not really contributing much to the world around me. Just sucking up resources for no productive purpose. Especially since I finished school and have not really been responsible for anything except keeping my little boy alive, feeding my husband, and cleaning the apartment. Some days Josh and I will stay inside all day, thinking up activities just to pass the time. Especially when the weather isn't great.
But yesterday, instead of going somewhere (anywhere) to escape boredom, I had the feeling that I should stick around. And because I did, I was blessed to be able to feel USEFUL to a few people outside of my little family. It's nice. I guess when you're feeling bad for yourself, bored, useless, maybe having trouble getting out of a bad mood, sometimes the best thing to do is get outside of yourself and help someone else. It worked for me yesterday. I'm grateful for little moments of inspiration that lead to days like that.
