Child Proof

Answer: Childproof

Question: What is something my house is not?

Unmounted frames and blinds in random piles

Crumbs and sticky stuff all over the floors

Fireplace without a protective gate

Staircase to basement without protective gate

Cable box and PS3 on low shelf

Open basket of DVDs on low shelf

Three toilets to keep behind closed doors

Laptop cords always on the floor

About a zillion unplugged outlets

Cupboards without child locks

Sharp corners in every room

In the two weeks that he's been a full crawler, Jude has pointed out almost all of these safety hazards by discovering them when I'm not watching.

He is a full crawler now!  For a few weeks it was pretty hilarious because he'd get up on all fours (knees or toes) and nose dive into the floor to gain a few inches at a time. He's pretty fast now. His favorite place to crawl is right up to the mirror and give his reflection a nice open-mouth kiss. Then he rams his head into the mirror over and over, listening to the banging. What's not fun about that? I can't blame him though. I want to kiss that little face all the time, too.

His increasing strength and mobility have definitely changed our routine around here. He's been flipping out of his Bumbo, so we don't use it much anymore. I use it in the shower, but a few weeks ago I turned my head for a second and he was suddenly flat on his back on the shower floor. Just looking up all proud of himself! Then yesterday he gave himself a little bloody nose doing the same thing. I think its new home will be The Pile in the basement.

I guess this post is turning into a Snowbaby update. If you want to see what Jude has been like recently, just look at this post from when Josh was little. They are basically the same baby with the same interests: remotes, laptops, paper, water in Mommy's glass, dropping everything onto the floor from his highchair, etc etc.

He LOVES food! Whenever he sees anyone else eating, his eyes get all big and he starts chewing his tongue and drooling while his arms and legs flap like crazy. I have to fight myself not to give him things he's not ready for yet.

He is growing out of clothes so fast! Good thing Josh left a TON of hand-me-downs in good shape for his brother.

His laugh is infectious. So deep and delirious, for a baby.

And he still thinks his brother is the funniest person in the world.

And now that you're caught up with Jude and my childproofing needs, here are some other kinds of child proof, brought to you by Joshua....

PROOF that my son listens to what I say: 

(and then throws my words back in my face at every opportunity)

Me: "Josh, come help me do the dishes."

Josh: "Umm, that's a nice idea, but I need to stay here and do this for a little while."

Me trying to follow the endless instructions to build a Lego garbage truck for him: "Rrrr! This is so frustrating!!!"

Josh sympathetically: "No, it's not frustrating because I'm helping you."

Running around the kitchen island.

Me: "Wow you're so fast at running in circles!"

Josh: "Actually I'm running in rectangles"

Me: "We have to turn off the lights after we use the bathroom so we don't waste light, just like we don't waste water..."

Josh: "Ooooorrrrr...cereal!"

"Alsoly" = a mix of also and actually. He uses it all the time when he's trying to contribute to important conversations.

"Jude you are such adorable!" I think this is a combination of "You are such a dork" and "You are so adorable" -- two phrases we use a lot around here.

We pass Burger King on the way home quite a bit. Josh asks to go play in their playplace every time, and every time I tell him we only do that on rainy days when we can't play outside. Now guess what he says to me whenever it rains... "When it's cold and raining that means we get to go to Kings Burgers!!!"

PROOF that Josh really pays attention to my music in the car: 

(My sister made a CD of songs Josh likes, but they are secretly my favorites too)

Josh's version of Justin Bieber: "Shiny is a eeny meeny miney mo luvah!" He also likes to point out what he thinks are the words chicken and spaghetti in Lady Gaga's "Poker Face".

There's a Britney Spears song that says "I can't take it, take it, take no more...." In the middle of singing, Josh explains to me, "We don't take our friend's toys! It's not good to take things." Yes, Josh, I'm sure that's exactly what Britney meant.

He randomly sings Rebecca Black's "Friday" all the time. Like in the quiet Nexus office at the Canadian border, where no one was cool enough to recognize the song, but I sat there laughing to myself like the proud mother that I am. He likes to change the words to different weekdays, too.

PROOF that my son is the cutest three-year-old ever:

Me: "I can't believe it's almost Christmastime!"

Josh, gasping: "When it's Christmas time, that's when I get to sit on Uncle Mike's lap and fly his helicopter at Sara Grandma's house!"

"Jude is my favorite little baby that I ever wanted!"

The week after General Conference, he asks "Mommy, can we color some pictures on the little table and play the candy game while we listen to General Conference on the computer?" I love when he wants to do good things!

Sees an old scratched black minivan in the library parking lot, and as it almost hits him he says "Wow, that's an aaaaawesome car!" He must get his taste from his dad.

Lately he's been dipping marshmallows and frozen peas in his ramen noodles "to make it taste so yummy". Again, he must get his taste from his dad.

I love these two little nerds...

...even more than they love getting the mail!

SibLove

I've had a bit of an epiphany lately. It's something simple and ordinarily taken for granted, so I'm sure no one else will think it's a big deal. But it's a place, a state of mind, that has taken a long time for me to reach.  Ready for it?

My siblings are my friends.

There are five kids in my family: Melissa 26, Me 24, Stephanie 21, Steven 17, Julia 13. I've had very different relationships with each one of them. (Aaaand...let the rambling and flashbacks begin!)

Melissa and I are twenty months apart, and were very competitive growing up. Everything had to be fair, but nothing was fair. We rarely had any nice, cooperative, loving memories together. It was a precious moment for me if we were forced to hug for one reason or another, like a photo op or a funeral. Mainly we just didn't get along. I stole her clothes. She told on me for liking boys. I played basketball and she cheered. We had completely opposite interests and could not share friends. Lots of friction.

But ever since we both moved out and had more of our own space, we've been closer than ever. I loved when she would come over just to watch dumb TV shows with me at BYU. I love how she checks in on everyone and gives cheesy little words of encouragement when we need them. In that way, she is such the Big Sister. She cares about us and watches over her little siblings like a mother hen.

Stephanie was the little sister I liked to play with when we were young. We'd waltz around the playroom acting out the dance scene from The King and I. I'd be the cool big sister to her friends and occasionally dress up and be silly with them or take them TPing. But Steph was also the one I had to share a room with, and that caused some major arguments. She stole my clothes and I was a hormonal teenager who was mean to her sometimes. It didn't help that I had a boyfriend tell me that Stephanie would definitely be the hottest Madsen.

But now, she is the one I Skype with at least once a week. She is the one who is always planning the next visit. I'm sure it has more to do with her nephews than with me, but I like to pretend that the love she shows for my boys is really love directed at me. And if I'm wrong, don't tell me!

Steven was my boy. My baby brother. My dad has always called me his "first son" because I was a major tomboy compared to my sisters, and Steven was the second. He would take Steven and me on special quadding trips or to the tool store. We were "the boys", and we bonded over that because we didn't fit in well with "the girls" of the family.

He was only ten when I moved out. I've been sad to miss most of his growing up years, even though those years have been kind of difficult and moody, but that hasn't made me feel less connected to him. There have been times when it was hard to get two words out of him, but he is still my baby. I even call my own sons Steven sometimes on accident. These days he always volunteers to drive the long two hours to pick me up from the airport when I go home to visit, just so we can have time to talk. We have a brother bond.

Julia is a little crazy thing. She was so little when I left the house, just six years old. She will always be a sweet baby to me, even though she's a tall, sassy, pubescent now. I can't pass by her without reaching out to squish one set of cheeks. We don't have super deep talks -- our relationship is more about teasing and being silly together. My parents call her a "mini Mimi" but she's way better at everything in life than I'll ever be. She is the wonder child. So much that my mom just got a personalized license plate that says JULZMOM. Can you believe it? Four other kids, but I wonder who is the favorite....

Anyway, now that I've written a reflective essay on my own sibling relationships, you are free to analyze the psychology of it all and send me your theories. I love a good psych discussion.

But really, here's why I've been thinking about all this lately. Friday was my dad's 50th birthday. I spent weeks putting together a surprise video for him with messages from a bunch of his friends and family, pictures of him growing up, and lots of family pictures that represented things he has taught his children in life. Like how to throw a perfect spiral with a football, or how to find and eat the most delicious burgers. Here is the video if you're interested. It's long.

As I was getting all this together, I had a lot of help. Melissa took a bunch of video for me out in Utah and reminded relatives to send in clips. Steph and Steven found and scanned hundreds of photos that I didn't have access to out here. Julia got all her friends involved in the video. Steph planned the cutest surprise party ever, and even got some faraway friends to travel in for it. Everyone worked together on something awesome for our dad, even from three different parts of the country.

Then at the party, Steph made sure I was there on Skype when my dad came through the door to be surprised. She was proud to show me every part of the party, every decoration, every refreshment, every guest. And then, once the party was started and I was still sitting there on Skype pretending to be a part of it all, I found myself face to face with my three younger siblings. Each one of them sat with me one on one for a while. They said they'd rather talk to ME than the other party guests.

Right now you might be thinking, "So...what's your point? That's what family does. No big deal."

Yes big deal to me! I like to know that I'm missed. And loved. And worth my family's time even when my kids are in bed and not in front of the screen to entertain everyone.

That night was a time I realized that my siblings are more than just family -- they are my friends too. They want to talk to me sometimes for fun, not just when they need something. They want to be part of my life. They care about what I'm doing. They laugh at my jokes. They want my opinion and approval on things they do. They want to spend time with me, and they are the ones I want to hang out with when I need a fun break.

Just like FRIENDS. 

It's too bad it took me seven years away from home and over 2000 miles of distance to realize how much I enjoy their company. I love them like a fat kid loves cake.

I can never post Halloween pictures on time...

I have very little energy to make a cutesie creative post right now, but I need to do something productive.  So I'll at least post the few pictures I got from Halloween this year.

Saturday night, we went to our church for the "trunk or treat". This is where everyone parks in the church lot, decorates their car trunk, and hands out candy to the kids. It's always a ton of fun and a good little warm-up for real neighborhood trick-or-treating a few days later. The ward also had a chili dinner/cook off with cider and donuts. Yummmm.

Josh wanted to dress up as a Toy Story army guy, but since he wouldn't let me touch his face with green make up, he was just a regular army guy. Matt and I had a little too much fun trying to convince him to use the face paint, so we threw some camoflauge costumes together at the last minute to match. Jude already had a tiger costume and we just pretended like we were hunting him. Such a plump little one could feed a hungry family for sure!

When real Halloween came around, I tried so hard to prepare Josh for trick or treating and get him excited to go out with his dad. They had planned to meet up with friends at 6:00 and hit the neighborhood, but around 4:30 I was going nuts with the boys and needed to get them out of the house. We got in the car and drove to the library, but by the time we arrived Josh had fallen asleep in his car seat. I thought a nap would do him good and help to be a happier trick or treater, so I drove right back home and let him sleep in the car until a quarter to six.

Bad idea. Horrible idea. Worst idea ever.

It took him a whole entire hour of crying and fighting and delirious conversations to get him to completely wake up and put his costume on. He was just really out of it and confused after that late nap. And he didn't have time for a full dinner either, so here he is in his stroller, face still red and puffy from tantrums, holding the milk and two pieces of toast I sent him with in lieu of dinner. Ready for Daddy to sprint to his friend's house to meet up with them extremely late. Are we bad parents for forcing sugar and holidays on our child?

He ended up having a great time, despite the cold night. Jude slept in the stroller for about an hour and was wide awake when they got home, so I got to spend the next couple days trying to get him back on a normal sleep schedule. Lucky me.

I think Josh really enjoyed learning about Halloween. He liked all the ghosts, zombies, vampires, witches and pumpkins in the books and TV shows all month. They didn't scare him at all, to my surprise. 

Today he was looking at some football pictures with Matt and he kept asking, "Where are the vampires?" We couldn't figure out what he meant so we asked what vampires look like. "They have little stripeys on their shirts." Ooohhh, he meant UMPires! It was really cute. Still had Halloween on his brain and got the two confused.

We all know Halloween isn't over until the post-holiday sales are fully taken advantage of. A couple nights ago Matt and I were on a date with some friends and bought a couple of wigs for really cheap.  Matt put this one on last night and scared Josh so badly! He absolutely hated it!

Sorry Matt -- guess your dream of matching hair styles with your wife just isn't the best thing for our family after all.

Hope you all had a lovely holiday too!

These vagabond shoes...

 

I love to travel. When I was seventeen, I took my first trip to New York. Really, it was my first trip anywhere east of Utah and north of Oregon. Yes, I was extremely cultured in my youth.

I had planned a summer trip with my best friend Danielle to go visit two sets of cousins in New York. Our first stop was Alfred, which is a small town upstate that was as green and lush and charming as anything I had ever seen. I was in love!! We spent a sublime week there with the wonderful Ludlows, and even took a jaunt up to Niagara Falls, Canada -- my first time in a "foreign" country!

From there we headed to New Jersey, where my very cool Clive cousins lived just 20 miles from NYC. They showed us everything you could possibly see in one week at full speed. All the classic touristy spots and more, including a performance by some crazy Mongolian throat singers. It was unbelievable!

That trip broadened my horizons. It helped me to see what was out there in the world, outside of my little hometown. In those two weeks, I decided that I could be happy anywhere I lived, because anything would be a new experience. Whether I ended up in a small town like Alfred, or the heart of the big city, I was excited for the future!

I saw NYC once after that with my family, when they visited Matt and me the summer we lived in DC right after we got married. Still enamored. Still in love with the lights, the big buildings, the hustle and bustle of crowded streets, the sidewalk performers, the skyline, the culture, the food, everything!

Why am I strolling down memory lane, like you care? Because I like to. But this is not a post about my past. That was just a little warm up.

The real news is that NYC Trip #3 came a couple weeks ago when Matt's parents were here. He surprised me with a romantic little overnight getaway!! 

See? Don't we look romantic??

Trip summary:  still love love love that city, but no longer want to live there. 

It's amazing how kids change things like that. One semi-rainy day on those sidewalks and subways was enough to tell me that little people would make this place unbearable. As much as I love them, I was so glad we didn't bring them along!

So here's how the trip went. We flew to Philadelphia for free on Dow's air shuttle and drove a rental car from there, then paid for a hotel right in Times Square with rewards points. If there's one thing I like more than my dear husband planning a surprise getaway for us, it's my dear husband planning a surprise getaway for us on the cheap!

We had about twelve waking hours in the city, so we tried to make the most of our day. Thanks to some very detailed and helpful tips from our amazing friend Natalie, we were able to make a plan and go go go!

5:15 am -- Wake up and get ready to leave. Hope I don't wake up Jude on the way out.

7:30 am -- Flight leaves from tiny local airport.

9ish -- Plane lands in Philadelphia. Get rental car and drive. Stop for some greasy late second breakfast at gas station. (I eat second breakfast almost every day, even when I don't wake up at 5.)

11:30ish -- Arrive at hotel in NYC. Park car in crazy little lot with elevators for cars so they can stack as many as possible on top of each other. I will never figure out how these crazy city lots work or stay so organized or cram so many cars so close together. Wish I had snapped a photo.

11:45 -- Check into hotel. Drop bags in room. Contemplate taking a power nap, but don't want to waste time. Hit the streets!

Here is where I stop writing the approximate time of day because it is all a blur. I'll just try to go in chronological order.

Catch subway train going south to Brooklyn Bridge. Get a little lost finding the pedestrian pathway, with a husband who is too embarrassed to pull out our city map because he doesn't want to look like a tourist.

Find the walkway and follow the crowded crowds up the bridge, after stopping to watch a cool spray paint artist. Never gets old. Hear more languages in one hour than I can count.

Walk halfway across the bridge and have Matt look up what's so cool about it on his phone because I am a history airhead. Take some really unflattering pictures and head back down.

Walk to Canal street for the shopping! Buy two beautiful scarves for way cheap and a couple Christmas presents. Carry around my black shopping back in plain sight so that every shifty salesperson on the sidewalk can identify me as a tourist and taunt me with phrases like "Louis Vuitton" and "Rolex Rolex Rolex". Do not give in!

Catch the subway back up to Times Square to stand in line at TKTS for discount tickets to a Broadway show. Gawk at how long the line is for a slightly rainy Thursday afternoon before the booth is even open! 

Wait for an hour and people-watch. Look up summaries for all the musicals to see which ones we're interested in. Decide I want to see all of them in one day! Try for Jersey Boys. Sold out. Buy tickets for How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying starring Daniel Radcliffe and John Larroquette.

Yes that's right, I've seen Harry Potter in real life! He's very small.

Walk over to Rockefeller Center to see the 30 Rock building. Get all hyper and giddy, hoping I see the real life Tina Fey or Tracy Morgan or the guy who plays Kevin...or anybody famous. Take more touristy pictures.

Do you hear the 30 Rock theme song in your head right now? Me too.

Find Magnolia's and, per Natalie's suggestion, grab a banana pudding. 

"Suggestion" is the wrong word here...she actually said "Commit now to eating the banana pudding from Magnolia's." She was so confident that we'd love it, I had to search it out. And oh my...they need to find a different name for it because it is NOT just fuddy duddy banana pudding! It is heaven in a paper cup! Like ice cream, but not frozen. Pudding, fresh bananas, crumbly vanilla wafers...so so good! I even looked up the recipe because I need to have it in my life on a regular basis. Go to New York and eat this. Or Chicago...I heard they just opened a Magnolia's there this month!

Walk around looking for dinner somewhere casual enough to accept our blue jeans, but worth our money according to Yelp.com. Settle for a bar/grill close to the theater. Have my ID checked for the first time ever upon entering an eating establishment. Realize that by most people's standards I have been a seriously lame 20-something.

Have some time to kill before the show, so look in a few more tourist shops. Did you know they make super cute ridiculously overpriced Angry Birds pillows??

Meet up with our Chicago buddy Sam for a few minutes before he heads home from work! Send lots of hugs and tushy squeezes home to his beautiful Vanessa and baby girls. Miss them. Stupidly forget to take a picture together.

Head to the theater!!! Wonder why Daniel Radcliffe sounds weird for the first half hour until realizing it's because he's not using a British Harry Potter accent. Duh. 

LOVE every minute of the show. Even the twenty minutes I spend in the insanely long amusement-park-style bathroom line during the intermission. Laugh at the concessions guy for expecting me to pay $5 for a pack of M&Ms. Smile while my cute, talented husband reminisces about performing this musical in high school.

Walk back to the hotel. Take off my boots and collapse. Such a fun day.

Wake up early the next morning to drive the car back to Philadelphia and catch our flight home. 

Enjoy the nice wide business class seats, the free breakfast on the plane, and the crazy leg room of the emergency exit row. These are my legs completely stretched out and still not touching the seat in front of me!

Home again. So happy to see our boys. It took about twenty minutes away for me to miss them. I'm such a weeny. Many thanks to their dear grandparents for taking care of them! This was such a nice, needed getaway! 

Visitors

The last six weeks have been crazy. Aside from unpacking a million boxes and trying to get our new place in order, we have had a stampede of visitors. An awesome stampede. Everyone wanted to come after the house was finished but before the weather got cold. Remember when this happened to us in Chicago last spring, after Jude was born? This situation can be explained with a simple equation:

family's hate for cold weather > family's love for us

Our family is literally made up of fair weather fans. Ha! Just teasing. Honestly, I wouldn't want to visit the Midwest in the winter either! But seriously, once the last brown leaf hits the ground this fall, we can expect no happy visitors until those trees are in full bloom again. And that works out well because it's the season we try to head west and get the heck into some sunshine!

Alright, back to my post...

First relative in the door was my mom, here Sept. 11-20. It was so nice to have her. We got so much done around the house and still got to have a lot of fun. 

We went apple picking...

Thoroughly enjoyed the cider slushes and cinnamon donuts at the apple barn...

(We may have finished off a six pack of those babies before we got home.)

Painted some old furniture for the boys' room...

Tried to get Jude to like food...

Smothered the boys all week...

Visited the farmer's market and the famous Tridge...

(It's like the Sundial Bridge of Redding. Just somewhere to take visitors.)

Took a few lovely walks in the stroller...

Went to a great children's museum in Ann Arbor...

Wanna know how awesome it was? This awesome...

And swam in our hotel pool the night before my mom's flight. She is such a fun grandma to get in that cold water with both boys while I sat by the edge like a wuss.

Next in was my sister Stephanie, here for almost a week. She is her nephews' number one fan.

There's not too much to do in Midland, but the boys never get sick of taking walks around the neighborhood. Even in the rain.

We showed her the library, where Josh has been working on his mouse skills. Those head phones crack me up!

A couple days into Steph's visit, we added two more cute kids to our household while their parents flew out to a funeral in Utah. Josh had older siblings for five whole days, and he loved it! Here they are working on some activity pages while listening to General Conference. 

They were so good during the sessions. I set up a little candy game to help them listen. We chose a different buzz word for each talk (like temple, or Jesus, or Book of Mormon), and whenever they heard that word, they could jump up and choose a candy. It worked so well that Josh jumps when he hears those words at church now. "Mom, they said missionary!!"

Steph was really good at listening during Conference, too.

On Sunday I had three very helpful snickerdoodle scoopers.

We visited Dow Gardens to get out some wiggles that day between Conference sessions.

Steph and I took just my boys to the park at the Tridge one day for some quality auntie-nephew bonding time.

And we hit our favorite ice cream shop on the way home. They have pretty cool flavors in the warm season...like black licorice! And a couple non-dairy options for Josh.

This little one let Steph french braid her hair on her last night here. That's one of those things that makes me want a girl someday. I just need one! 

After everyone went home that week, Josh was absolutely exhausted. I found him like this randomly over the next few days.

And this one was just happy to have more of my undivided attention.

A few days later, our wonderful friends from business school drove all the way from Buffalo to visit us. After living just two floors down from them for so long, we are having serious trouble living without them. While they were here, we went for a beautiful scavenger hunt walk at Chippewa, ate some good food, played Settlers as usual, and made our third trip to the Tridge that month. Look at that gorgeous family!

The day after our friends left, I picked up Matt's parents from the airport.  Not because they flew in on a plane, but because they were returning their rental car. That's right -- they drove all the way from Arizona! ARIZONA! They brought us a car full of stuff we left in their attic, and saw some countryside and some loved ones along the way. I've done that drive before, and if you ask me, we're not worth it.

On the way home from the airport, we stopped at an apple orchard with a bunch of fun kid stuff. Tractors, animals, slides, sand...Josh was in heaven. We of course grabbed some cider slushes and donuts (again) before leaving.

One of Josh's favorite things to do with Grandpa is play Fruit Ninja on his iPad. Or in this case, play Fruit Ninja on his iPad on his sleeping grandpa.

We took Grandma and Grandpa to Dow Gardens as well, even though most of the vegetables were gone for the winter. Everyone still had fun with the bubbles and trails and falling leaves.

A week later, our little family is all alone. 

(At least until my dad comes to visit in November. Just got that email today.) 

I LOVE visitors! But do you know why I don't get depressed when they leave? When I am home by myself (meaning with my boys) after a long stretch of company, I get to bask in the joy of openly being my disgusting self. You know...walking around half-clothed, nursing without covering up, not showering or leaving the house unless I want to, watching my guilty pleasure shows like Dancing with the Stars, letting my house stay messy since there's nobody to clean for, and yes, peeing with the bathroom door wide open. (I know you all do it too.) There. I have no more secrets.

But I promise -- if you come visit me, I will be all cleaned up (mostly) and will LOVE to have you, even if I have to put on some extra manners. Company is worth it!