Josh Understands TV

A couple of weeks ago, I got a real wake-up call as a mother. MY BABY UNDERSTANDS TELEVISION! Maybe not the concept of television itself, but often he knows exactly what the characters are doing. His already very expressive face gets even more intense in front of the Tube, showing his extreme excitement in watching "The Wiggles", or his deep concern and worry when "Inspector Gadget" gets into trouble. One of my favorite reactions is when he sees a couple kissing, then looks at me and says "Kiss! Kiss!" The reason I love it is because sometimes he'll come up and offer me a big smackeroo right on the lips. So sweet. But still...I don't want him learning any new moves from the TV.

Here's what really caught me off guard. Matt and I have been getting into "Lost" over the past year and have finally watched all five seasons so we can enjoy the new episodes every Tuesday night. If Josh is awake, he usually plays or eats or otherwise entertains himself while we watch. (Great parenting, I know.) However, it seems that he has been paying more attention than I thought. Matt and I were watching an episode where Sawyer and Jack get into a big bloody fist fight. After a couple of punches were thrown, Josh looked at the TV with his brows furrowed and said "Uh-oh!" in a very concerned voice. He knew they were fighting, and he knew it was a no-no. Realizing that my sweet baby boy could be learning how to hit and fight because I let him watch my not-kid-rated TV shows, I turned it off immediately. I felt a little sick to my stomach. How long has he actually been absorbing what he sees on TV? What terrible behaviors and words has he learned already? I apologize in advance for any potty language he might spit out in the company of your fine children. I swear he didn't learn it from me.

You might think that this experience would have been enough to make me commit to watching my shows only when Josh is asleep. That worked for a couple of days. As soon as I needed some entertainment to make folding five heaping loads of laundry not seem so miserable, I turned on Saturday Night Live. Great kid show, right? Wrong. I don't even know why I was watching it, considering how lame and crude most of the sketches have gotten. The last skit I saw before again turning off the TV in horror was one in which a rude teenage dinner guest said the B-word really loudly every few seconds, while the parents of the home tried not to be offended. Not even funny. I was trying to find the remote to fast forward and noticed that Josh looked up and studied the TV every time this fun new word was blurted out. Afraid that he would start repeating it right then and there as if it was funny, I started fuming. I wanted to call SNL immediately and give them a piece of my maternal mind. But, I knew that if Josh started calling his little girlfriends names, it would be absolutely my fault.


It's time to start making some changes around here. My baby is growing up. Time to start protecting him from the world in more than just a physical sense. So long to the days of watching what I want to watch during the day. It's only kid-appropriate shows from here on out. Hello Dora. Hello Thomas. Hello Wiggles...

Heaven help me!